Fixing sound in Debian - Master Mono muted on boot


Get out of my kitchen you flying ass
I have a Dell Optiplex GX520 system, I've tried using Debian but so far I've ran into many problems.
Most solutions people mention do not work but I'm gonna explain.
I think this happens on a clean install if you use XFCE (which of course everyone uses).

If you have no sound have a look at your volume levels.
You do this by running alsamixer in the terminal, it should only show 1 unmuted channel but that's ok, press F6 and select your sound card.
You may notice a Master Mono that's set to 0 and is also muted (MM).
Now I'm just gonna straight up tell you, it's PulseAudio that's fucking it up. Don't know what it is? It's some kind of volume controller which is useless since we have Alsa installed aswell.

Solution 1:
There's two ways to fix this, the first way to fix it is to simply remove PulseAudio, that's what I recommend. You can do this by typing in the Root terminal (you can tell if it's root if it ends with a # not $). And typing:
apt-get autoremove pulseaudio

If you have the speaker icon in the tray, you should also type:
apt-get autoremove pavucontrol

Now that that's removed, in your alsamixer find your Master Mono and crank the volume up, and press M to unmute it.
Restart the computer and you should be fine.

Solution 2:
This one isn't very effective since xfce4-mixer collides with it when using the volume buttons. But you can fix this another way and this method you get to keep PulseAudio (if you need it).

There's a configuration file for PulseAudio you can modify, and when modifying settings I like to just run leafpad in the root terminal.
Anyway when leafpad open's, browse to:
You should find a line something along the lines that looks like this:
[Element Master Mono]
Switch = off
volume = mute
Simply change it to:
[Element Master Mono]
Switch = on
volume = merge
Restart and you should have sound, however pressing the mute button may fuck things up etc etc. I couldn't figure out a fix so I just gave up and uninstalled PulseAudio.